Years ago, when our first-born was in pre-school, his teacher offered us parents a course in Positive Discipline - basically, a way to deal with our children that would help us be more effective parents, as well as help us maintain our sanity. (Need I mention we were almost all first-timers).
It wasn't that our little boy was a particular challenge to deal with - he was relatively easy-going (and, given that we've known a good number of kids, we have a basis for comparison). But, again, being new to it all, we felt better hearing about ways to handle day-to-day child-rearing rationally, and I think we enjoyed the support-group aspect of it as well.
Looking back on it, two things have really stayed with me: one, how much dealing with children resembles negotiating with and handling customers (take from that what you will); and two - really the main event: ultimately, we have no real control over how anyone - children, spouses, colleagues, clients, anyone - behaves; we do, however, have some control over how others' behavior affects us, and how we react.
When I think clearly about when I've been happiest in my daily life, I see that they were the times I stayed calm in the midst of conflicts and dramas, big or small; from that vantage point, I was able to do or say things to help move things in a better direction, or at least not make them worse.
I wish I could say that as I've grown older I've become more attuned to this perspective, after so many opportunities to put it into action.
I could say that, but it would be a lie, pretty much. So this is me talking to myself - one more time - to say, dude, I can't believe I have to run through all this with you again.
It wasn't that our little boy was a particular challenge to deal with - he was relatively easy-going (and, given that we've known a good number of kids, we have a basis for comparison). But, again, being new to it all, we felt better hearing about ways to handle day-to-day child-rearing rationally, and I think we enjoyed the support-group aspect of it as well.
Looking back on it, two things have really stayed with me: one, how much dealing with children resembles negotiating with and handling customers (take from that what you will); and two - really the main event: ultimately, we have no real control over how anyone - children, spouses, colleagues, clients, anyone - behaves; we do, however, have some control over how others' behavior affects us, and how we react.
When I think clearly about when I've been happiest in my daily life, I see that they were the times I stayed calm in the midst of conflicts and dramas, big or small; from that vantage point, I was able to do or say things to help move things in a better direction, or at least not make them worse.
I wish I could say that as I've grown older I've become more attuned to this perspective, after so many opportunities to put it into action.
I could say that, but it would be a lie, pretty much. So this is me talking to myself - one more time - to say, dude, I can't believe I have to run through all this with you again.
