First one in the house awake, as usual,

and I like it that way. To my left, my loudly ticking Beatles wall clock; outside the window to my right, birds' songs like tiny silver bullets of light streaking through space. The occasional passing car. More birds. My stomach growling.

Working a regular daily gig, with commute, is requiring some adjustment on my part, but one big plus is, I really enjoy my evenings and weekends at home. Easy to lose that appreciation when you work from home. At least for me.

So getting up early to do things as prosaic as polishing my shoes and paying a couple of bills online feels right.

I'm starting to understand that all of the body blows, foreboding, and losses the last couple of years brought me are still reverberating, even as conditions seem to be easing up some. Once you've fallen through a few floors, you just don't walk the same. At least not right away.

I do understand that whatever setbacks we've endured are mosquito bites compared to what others live through - or don't - every day. But again, this is the life I'm living, so I need to start here.